NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU
I shared a post on Instagram last week, and little did I know how much it would resonate with you. I started off by saying that I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to like me, and I went a step further by telling you the harsh truth that not everyone is going to like you either.
Of course I didn’t tell you that to hurt your feelings (I’m all about LOVE), I told you that because if you are anything like me, you WANT everyone to like you. And you analyze (and over analyze) your own actions and behaviors trying to figure out what’s wrong with YOU when someone doesn’t like or value you.
That’s me to a “T”. I wasn’t the popular girl growing up. In fact, I had a hard time making and keeping friends. Don’t feel bad for me. I’m telling you this, though, because it’s those experiences are what caused me to always evaluate my own actions and thing about what I wasn’t doing right, so that people WOULD like me.
My (least) favorite memory was in law school – I was “friends” with a group of four girls (and girls, if you are reading this, YAH I’m talking to you). We did everything together – sat together in classes, ate lunch together, partied, studied, and studied some more. Then one day, without any warning or notice, they stopped talking to me and hanging out with me. I never knew why. I asked, but never got any answers. I just know that in my mind, I didn’t do anything wrong. And if I did, they weren’t brave enough to tell me so that I could have the opportunity to apologize and/or correct my behavior and move forward.
That’s just one example, but it really messed me up. I spent months walking campus alone WONDERING what was wrong with ME. When the answer was in front of me all along -- NOTHING WAS WRONG WITH ME.
And NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU EITHER. The reality is that there are ALWAYS going to be those that you just don’t connect with. Or maybe you do, but they don’t connect with you. I am here to tell you that that is OKAY. And I’ll even take that a step father to say that maybe it’s BEST that we don’t connect with everyone. It forces us to invest more in the people that do matter.
When we give more of ourselves to the people that matter, we are more present. We listen. And we are LISTENED TO. The people that matter want to hear what you have to say, and have something to say back to you.
The moral of the story – instead of feeling sorry for yourself when someone doesn’t invest in you the way you invest in them – say TO HELL WITH IT. It’s a blessing. It frees up more of your time to put your energy into the things and people that DO bring you joy.
You feel me?