If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I am an independent woman, with a variety of interests. I unapologetically make time to do things for myself. Whether that’s through daily exercise, a bath with indulgent bath salts (goop bath) a fresh mani, traveling, investing time in my job (which I love), or catching up with a friend, I do THINGS that feed my soul.

I do these things for myself even though I am a mom. Society sends this message that in order to be a good mom, we have to completely sacrifice EVERYTHING—every single thing; and that self-care, and taking care of ourselves, is selfish, and should always take a back seat to motherhood. I’m here to tell you, right here and right now, that you have got to throw that concept out the window.

There needs to be a re-messaging in society – and that re-messaging is that as mothers, we HAVE to take care of ourselves FIRST in order to have the alignment necessary to take care of others at the capacity that we do. Because being a mom is hard effing work, and if you don’t incorporate any self-care practices in your life, it’s only going to be that much harder, fatigue will set in, and resentment will start to build. Let me repeat this to you—self-care is the best kind of selfish there is. It’s taking care of YOU so that you have the full capacity to care for your littles (and significant other!). 

To reiterate –we need to fill our own cup; because when we stop taking care of ourselves, we get out of balance, and we forget how to REALLY take care of others. 

You don’t need to do anything fancy to take care of yourself, but I do recommend doing one thing EVERY single day that makes you feel whole. I’m sure you are thinking, I don’t even have 5 minutes – you do. In life, we make the time for the things we really want to do. So if it’s important enough, you will do it. 

Here are some things I do as part of my self care routine:

1 An abbreviated “gratitude journal” – I don’t have a fancy journal to write down things I’m grateful for, because that’s just not me. I’m busy, I don’t have paper all over the house. I just keep a Note on my iPhone for each month. Every day before bed, I take a minute to write down just ONE thing that I am grateful for. This practice, over time, is life-changing. At the end of the month, you will see a month’s worth of things that made you happy or that you are grateful for. It’s powerful, I’m telling you.

2 Make time for girlfriends – I love my occasional “girls night out” or lunch dates with girlfriends. It’s nice to take a break mentally from the hard shit of “mom’ing” and talk about fun stuff, like the show This Is Us, our husbands (j/k), work, what’s going on in the world, tips for dealing with whatever stage our kid is going through, etc. You don’t have to do this often, but do it at least once per month!

3 Get a fresh mani – you laugh, but there is something about a fresh manicure that makes me happy and lifts my spirits! Do it and you’ll see what I mean.

4 Put on some COMFY lingerie, even if no one is going to see it! Let’s be practical here. As moms, we ain’t got time for the fancy shiz (if you do, I commend you, teach me your ways), nor do I have any desire to, quite honestly. I’m more into functional lingerie, like sexy sports bras and boy shorts, things I can feel comfortable and sexy in at the same time. Doesn’t matter if anyone is going to see it, I do it for me. 

5 Take a bath –again, this doesn’t have to be a long one. Soak for 10 minutes. Heck, bring a glass of wine with you and live it up. Close your eyes and breathe. It’s heaven. 

6 Call someone, don’t text. Mamas, I am the QUEEN of texting, and I prefer to text anyone at all costs rather than picking up the phone. But when I do pick up the phone and call someone, there is a different type of connection made, that FILLS MY CUP. Do it. You don’t need to have an hour long convo. When I’m super busy, sometimes I call a girlfriend and preface the convo with “I just have 5 min, but wanted to say hi and hear your voice.” Chat for 5 minutes and be done. And you will be HAPPY.

I hope you guys connect with this post – comment below and share with me your favorite things to do for self-care!