kalejunkie's greatest life lesson

kalejunkie’s greatest life lesson

Gavyn turning four in a few weeks has got me thinking about parenthood, what it’s all meant, and how it’s actually changed ME.

Lots of parents talk about how hard parenting is—and it IS. Sleepless nights, inconsolable crying and tantrums, never ending leaky boobs, trying to maintain peace at home when your own hormones are whack, anxiety around why your kid won’t sleep, hasn’t started walking yet, isn’t a fucking walking encyclopedia by age three, scrubbing sharpie pens off white walls, the list goes on. It’s hard, and I’m not discounting that.

But the truth is, it hasn’t been THAT hard for me. Sure, there have definitely been moments when I’ve wanted to run away. I still have them. Maybe it’s because I was older when I had gavyn and I’ve been through a lot in my life, I felt equipped to deal with any of the day to day that comes with parenting. And while I didn’t have the burning desire to become a mom in the first place, I knew that once I became one, I’d know a love that I didn’t know was possible, and that’s for sure what happened.

But I’ll tell you what HAS been hard—being a present parent AND doing ME—being 100% invested in mom’ing AND being 100% able to do all the things I like to do that fill my cup—being free to do whatever I want, when I want, on my own terms. It’s just not possible; no matter how much I’d try to fool myself into thinking that I could do both perfectly, I can’t.

The last four years have been my greatest life lesson yet—it’s taught me the meaning of sacrifice; how to be more flexible; more selfless; more accepting of myself and the mom fails that go along with that. It’s taught me to be more patient (I still suck); and to embrace that NEW NEW life that I am very blessed to have with open arms and an open heart.